Recent studies on the human brain have revealed two important findings: a positive and a negative. The positive is that humans are genetically destined to fall in love, there’s nothing to do. The bad news is that couples are not necessarily intended to remain united or to last forever.
When you start to lose interest in your partner, you find unattractive and wanted to join to another person, we’re probably in the midst of a marriage crisis.
The problems begin when the torque from falling (if there was) to go to the ‘transition’. At this stage the excitement of getting to know the other person and the passion of sex diminish or disappear (after a few months or a few years, the famous ‘seven-year itch’), while feelings become based on a more realistic assessment of the partner.
You begin to perceive the faults of , the 2 partners no longer feel paid in satisfaction of their wants and needs, begin to surface differences . All this takes emotionally unprepared for the couple, who begins to question whether to continue a relationship more and more disappointing.
conflicts begin to emerge because everyone tries to force the other to correspond more closely to their desires and puts love to the test. are reasons for conflict disagreement on personal values, the dynamics of power, communication and organizational problems .
These crises, when they have an unfavorable outcome, can lead to disaffection and disruption of ratio, or the continuation in conditions of continuous conflict and psychological distress.
What better to do in these cases? Better to stay together or be forever anyway?
People who live an unhappy couple’s relationship but continue to live together have the same effects on health . At the expense is self-esteem, but is also involved in the physical and psychological health.
Two American researchers, Daniel Hawkins and Alan Booth, for a period of 12 years, have conducted a study which involved 1,150 volunteers at Penn State University. The conclusion was that if the husband and wife continue to live together, but in a state of unhappiness (on the couple’s relationship), you are less satisfied with their lives, levels of self-esteem and lower health worsens.
This study sheds light on a little-studied aspect, in the past there have been numerous studies that showed the benefits brought by a happy marriage on the people and the effects of a divorce, but never had analyzed the situation of a couple who kept to live together even if unhappy.
If so a couple’s relationship that works brings considerable benefits: , continue to live in misery brings more problems than they could give you a divorce. According to Booth, when you are in these conditions, couples can have more opportunities to improve their general well-being of ending their marriages.
The study, however, does not address all aspects: many times we are the children of the middle and the situation may be more complex. My advice is to prevent problems, thinking carefully before taking the decision of marriage . Increasingly, however, we are seeing fewer and fewer marriages that last and that cause considerable problems for the mental and physical health.
Salvatore Panza – Psychologist, Psychotherapist, Motivational TrainerSee all events >> 
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